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(sing to the tune of Don McLean’s American Pie)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How the Dow Jones used to make me smile.
And I learned my trade and had my chance
The music played I did my dance
And I made seven figures for a while.
I can’t remember if I cried when they pulled the plug on Countrywide…
It sucks that Iceland is out of ice….
Bye, Bye to my piece of the pie…
Now I travel coach whenever I fly…
Maybe this will be the day that I die.

-performed at this year’s Kappa Beta Phi dinner, Wall Street’s premiere secret society for hoity toity financiers (cmon boys, you’re not at Yale anymore).