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In trying to synthesize my experiences this summer,  it’s hard to not notice certain parallels…

  • You have an army of tireless, well-groomed matchmakers willing to solicit suitors, schedule outings, cost-benefit analyze all your most viable options, and sacrifice their own personal relationships to make sure that every detail of your dating process proceeds flawlessly.
  • Taking discussions “to the next level” includes a binding agreement to stop entertaining offers from competing bidders and players.
  • Merger premiums: Really good assets command (deserve?) a premium.
  • Distressed sales: If you’re desperate, you’ll sell to anyone.
  • Sure the CEO is important, but you have to please all the shareholders (friends, family, pets, etc.—every effort should be made to avoid a hostile takeover).
  • Any assumptions that exist going into the relationship are made transparent by a rational, well organized slide deck that both sides agree to.
  • You talk about—and model out—action plans to anticipate upside, downside, and other off-chance scenarios in advance.
  • You call upon painstakingly detailed models of your current standalone lives to make a merged projection for many future years, ensuring a snug fit into perpetuity.
  • You do months—years! of due diligence to make sure there are no nasty secrets, including spending several weeks at the other party’s home with free reign over all significant files and artifacts.
  • Everybody wins, or there’s no deal.
  • You try to maximize post-merger synergies and goodwill, both operationally and financially.
  • Even though you’ve thought of everything, there are always surprises (that your matchmakers will smooth out at 9AM on a Saturday morning) to keep things interesting.

Watching the Chris Brown / Rihanna story develop is a good reminder for all girls in relationships to evaluate whether or not they are allowing their values and boundaries to be compromised by the loveydoveyness of love. I’ve never been one to have hard and fast rules about “types” of guys I’m interested in–there are lots of preferences floating in a murky soup in my mind, and I like boys who are interesting mixes of these preferred traits.  However, I have come to maintain certain “flags” or warnings that are absolute no-nos in a budding (or established) relationship.

absolute dealbreakers
– cheating
– domestic violence
– crimes punishable by life in prison / death penalty

near dealbreakers
– lack of intelligence / ambition
– other serious criminal activities
– addictions
– disrespect to myself or my family
– infertility?? / genetic incompatibility
– fobbyness (let’s just be friends!)
– poor self esteem there anything I’m missing?

retro chocolate plate for two

retro chocolate plate for two

BF is out of town this weekend for a ski trip with his friends, so we celebrated Vday (CC Soiree-style) last night at Finale.  BF was underwhelmed with the quality of their entrees, but I almost preferred the subpar main-dishes because it left more room for their ridiculous desserts :). I’ve been lucky to have nice Valentine’s Days for the past few years.  Last year, we went to see Romeo and Juliet at the Boston Ballet.  We both fell asleep during the second act.

One of my friends is upset because her BF is scaling back Vday celebrations this year due to the economy.  I can understand her feelings, but Valentine’s Day is definitely not a holiday that I place a lot of emphasis on.  Anniversaries, Birthdays, and Christmas all rank higher in my book of important dates for couples to acknowledge, in that order.  As long as my Sig. Other makes some sort of gesture and we have a good time together, I don’t have crazy expectations. Although in the future (ie: when we both have jobs), it would be fun to do mini-trips together–I’ve always had this lovely fantasy of a spontaneous Valentine’s Day in Paris or Loire Valley.

What is your scale of importance in terms holidays for your +1 to acknowledge?

chat with BF at 2:14am:

1:58:16 AM silverr: hii
1:58:26 AM crystal: hellooo
2:04:32 AM silverr: hiiii
2:05:47 AM crystal: hellooooo
2:05:58 AM silverr: hiiiiiiiiiii
2:10:29 AM crystal: whats up.
2:10:34 AM silverr: nothing
2:12:15 AM silverr: what’s up with you?
2:12:19 AM crystal: …
2:12:26 AM crystal: im sad for this conversation.

say hi

musings + meanderings down the infinite.